Part one in my series on keloids.

Ethnicity. The Encyclopedia Britannica Online describes this as being a quality or affilitation with, "a social group or category of the population that, in a larger society, is set apart and bound together by common ties of race, language, nationality, or culture".

Culture. Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines this as, "the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group...the set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes a company or corporation".

Two words that have different meanings. Unfortunately, in today's "politically correct" world, the two are often tied together--or connected in some way--by the hyphenation of each (African-American, Japanese-American, etc). This is a dangerous way of defining children...especially those of mixed-race.

By definition alone, one can see how different the two words are. Even if the differences in their meanings aren't clear at first glance, one only has to look at the following example to get a better picture:

Litte Xiao is born in China. By the tender age of one she is adopted into a Jewish family in California. She grows up attending Jewish schools, going to temple, and speaks only Yiddish and English.

She dates Jewish boys, graduates from USC and marries a Jewish man. They have mixed-race children and bring them up in a Jewish neighborhood. Her children have her dark, almond-shaped eyes, her bone-straight black hair, and milky white complexion.

They are often described as "exotic". Their friends know they have parents of different ethnicities and they are categorized (on government forms, school records, etc) as "Chinese-American" even though neither of them speaks nor has ever visited China.

Xiao never once traveled to China, the land of her birth. She never sought out her Chinese parents and never learned the language, customs, or traditions. Why should she? Her home was here, in America. Her culture is Jewish--the only culture she knows. Thus, her children only know the Jewish way of life...the Jewish culture. It's how they were brought up and taught.

They are proud of their culture and their family and have been told that what matters is NOT the type of blood you have flowing through your veins nor is it the title or label or box unsophisticated people want to stick you in to make themselves feel better, instead, it's WHO you are as a person and citizen that matters most.

Your ethnicity does not make you choose right from wrong. Your DNA does not give you the character and moral fiber to be a respectable person...it's the way you were brought up, your beliefs, your vales, your culture that helps define WHO you are. Sadly one day, a school project comes home and tells them that everything they have been taught and everything they believe is wrong.

The school project in the above example is a real assignment. My son’s teacher handed it out at the beginning of the month and we have been challenged. The assignment asks the children to give a speech about their ethnicity/culture.
The slash indicates that the assignment assumes that culture and ethnicity are the same, when in fact, they are quite different. Here’s an excerpt from the project handout:
"The goals behind 'Multicultural Day in Room 9' are to celebrate diversity by building cultural awareness through ethnic celebration." The students will be graded on how well they complete the following tasks:

1. Identify your immigrant ancestor’s ethnicity.
2. Locate the country of origin of your immigrant ancestors on a map.
3. Tell us which ancestors immigrated to the US.
4. Share a personal story about your family and ancestors(traditions, customs, fables, etc).
5. Share food from your culture/ethnicity with the class.
6. Extra credit for those who dress in their traditional/cultural clothes!

Therein lies the problem.

Ethnicity and culture are NOT the same thing and children who are forced to do this assignment based on this criteria are being asked to negate parts of themselves.

My son was told to pick two of the many ethnicities of which he is a mixture. Impossible! He was then instructed to talk about his African ancestors. Problem is, it is only an assumption that all slaves in the United States came from Africa.

My paternal grandmother thinks her grandfather was Jamaican! When my son explained this to his teacher, she then instructed him to talk about the "white" parts of his family.

Again, impossible because as far back as we can go, we have found that our predecessors were all born here...in America.

I have always raised my son to understand that his DNA--his ethnicity--is not important. I told him the most of society would have a problem with his mixture, however, and he should be prepared to deal with it on an intellectual level.

My entire family is mixed--both sides--but has always been placed into one category or another for the sake of making others comfortable. Not this time. My son and I worked out a speech that will teach. He will give the teacher what she wants--in his sophisticated, factual way--in essence, the truth.

Here's the speech he wrote and the what he's going to present to his class tomorrow at Multicultural Day in Room 9:

(He'll enter wearing a French beret on his head, some African cloth around his shoulders, and a rabbit skin around his wrist. Underneath that he will have on his Old Navy blue jeans, a white shirt with the American flag on it):

I know I may look a little unusual right now, but I have quite the story to tell.
When most of you look at me and my mom, you can see I’m a mixture of light and dark skin. What you may not know is that I’m a mixture of MANY different lights and MANY different darks.
What you CANNOT see and what DOES NOT make me WHO I am is the DNA of my ancestors from MANY lands.
Some DNA may have traveled from France and other parts of Europe. [Remove the beret, point to Europe on map]
Some may have come from Africa too. [Remove the African cloth, point to Africa on map]
Also, I’ve been told I have the DNA of the great Blackfeet Indians of North America! [Remove fur, point to United States]
[Short pause]
But none of that matters because my DNA does NOT tell you about my CULTURE.
My culture is American [Put on baseball cap, pick up American flag]. And that has more meaning than my DNA. My culture is my WAY OF LIFE. My elders passed on this way of life to me and I will pass it on to my children.
My American culture has traditions unique to my family. For example, my family likes to eat what some may call "non-traditional" foods on Thanksgiving. One year, my aunt made tamales and this year my mom brought SUSHI and TEMPURA for the appetizers!
So you see...my culture is WHO I am and is much more important than the DNA in my blood. Now I hope you can see me for WHO I am.

He will then go on to explain his American culture and the things he likes to eat. He is bringing apple pie and California Rolls. Apple pie is his favorite dessert and California Rolls are the American version of his favorite food--sushi!

I understand the school's goal about teaching diversity--it's the unsophisticated way they are going about teaching culture and ethnicity as the same thing I disagree with.
It's also a very insensitive way to tackle the issue when there may be mixed-race children with no father in the home with whom to identify. What should a teacher say to that child who only identifies with the mother?

What about adopted children like the the hypothetical Xiao? Why must children be forced to identify? What if children are taught to be who they are, not WHAT society wants them to be?

Tiger Woods, for example, has often said he disagrees with those who have a need to categorize him. In an effort to quash that type of thinking, he created his own hyphenated category--"Cablasian" to appease those in society who have to satisfy their need to answer that burning question, "WHAT is he?"

Ward Connerlly tried to get the US Census to add a box for mixed-race individuals but it failed in committee. One day, hopefully, we will do away with those pesky, confining boxes once and for all.

What should be done about this in the schools until then? Most parents won't think this is such a huge deal, however, parents with mixed-race children such as myself will stand up and speak out. Perhaps educating future teachers about culture, ethnicity, and their differences in addition to anti-bias cirriculum would be a great start.

Individuals could stop checking the boxes on the forms, refuse to fill out surveys and informational cards that ask for one to choose an ethnicity or--better still--make a new box and label it, "None of Your Business", "Why do You Want to Know?", or, "Does it Matter?"

This "It's A Small World" mentality is a dangerous thing in that it can lead to all children feeling badly about themselves, not just the mixed-race ones. The "Small World" mentality comes from the view and idea seen in the ride at Disneyland of the same name.

While on the ride, guests are treated to a show of love and harmony by children from all around the world. Each stage of the ride features a different country or continent with children singing, dancing, and dressed in that country's "native" fare.

The trouble with this is in the assumption. It communicates the idea that EVERY SINGLE PERSON in that country or on that continent looks, dresses, and speaks like that one image.

All of the children in Africa have curly black hair and dress in grass skirts with tribal face paint, and carry spears. All of the children in Holland wear wooden shoes and wear their blonde hair in braided pig tails. All of the people in Hawaii--which is not even a country--wear grass skirts, dance the hula, and surf.

See the damage--especially for children with mixed-race heritage? Where do they fit in? Why are these "touristy" images necessary to show children the beauty of other cultures and ethnicities? Why not a National Geographic version of this ride showing all of the many cultures and ethnicities that actually make up the continent of Africa or other countries?

If children are taught that all "black" people--being of the African ethnic group--eat traditional "black" foods like friend chicken and watermelon, or that all "Asian" people eat sushi and practice karate, our children will grow up with these false stereotypes and beliefs and may act upon them in dangerous ways, or those of the particular groups will feel inadequate if they are pointed out as not fitting the stereotype.

I remember all too well my high school days and not fitting in because I didn't fit into the prescribed stereotypes. I spoke proper English and was constantly told by my peers and teachers, "You don't act black. We like that." My black cohorts' taunts were often worse. I often received mean looks and constant jibes, "You think you're hot because you have 'good'hair. You have 'good'skin. You're an 'oreo' and 'wannabe'."

Some didn't mean for the words to hurt, yet others did. How was I supposed to respond being a vunerable teenage girl that just wanted to fit in? I didn't want to have to choose which group to hang out with. I wanted to date who I wanted, not who society expected me to date.

Imagine that type of pressure on school-age children. An assignment such as "Multicultural Day in Room 9" can have the same effect on a mixed-race child as the ignorant words of my high school peers had on me.

Mixed-race children are the wave of the future if think about it. We are all products of some type of racial mixture. History and anthropology prove this. With proof that life began in Africa, we are all somewhat tied together in that respect. Knowing this, shouldn't we follow the polictcally-correct status quo and hyphenate EVERYONE as "African-Americans",African-Europeans", or "African-Asians"? Of course not! That would be silly! So why do we do this to our children? Why do we force our mixed-race children to choose? When will society STOP putting us into boxes and be content with seeing us for WHO we are? That's all Martin Luther King, Jr. wanted, wasn't it-- for men, women and children to be judged on the content of their character, not on the color of their skin?

This matter is one that will be around for some time and I have a lot more to say about it. Look for my follow-up article about activities to do with your children that teach them about culture and how it shapes who we are. My son and I have some great examples to share!

I recently took a very informal survey of all the boys in my son's 4th grade class (for an article I'm working on). The survey was called: To Be A Man, based on a great book by the same name written by Daniel S. Kaufman.

The survey asked the boys several questions about what their idea of a man was. Questions ranged from the physical aspects to mental aspects and the answers were pretty much what I expected them to be. A majority of the boys defined "man" as someone who is male, obviously, strong, brave, and has big muscles. These are quotes from my son's survey:

• "A man has muscles and is tall...
• "...men are strong and brave..."
• "...men fight good and aren't scared, or they don't act scared."
• "Men work and make money."

The boys also said that the images they held of men were images they had seen on TV, at home, or in sports. Two boys said the image of men they remember most came from video games.

Many listed their fathers as men to whom they look up. Two boys said, when asked what their dream job as a man would be, that they wanted to be fathers. Eight of the 15 boys in the class said they wanted to be some sort of professional sports player, and the remaining five boys said they wanted to work in the math or science field.

The ethnic make-up of this class is: 5 Asian, 5 White, 3 Mixed-Race, 2 Hispanic, and 0 Black.

It's obvious that boys look up to men, especially sports players. When a boy dreams of being a pro sports star, he dreams of being muscular and strong, as well as being famous and rich. But it's the looks thing that stands out the most.

Unfortunately, boys see MUSCLES, not personality or brains, as being the most visible and obvious defining factor about being a man.

How does this affect their self-image, if at all, as they grow up? What routes and avenues will they venture down in order to have that fantasy body of what they perceive to be a man?

Steroids: Instant Muscles, Instant Problems

Remember Popeye? His drug of choice for instant muscles was canned spinach. He'd grab a can of the mighty green goodness and down it with such intensity, one might think he was addicted to the stuff. Popeye never ate fresh, raw spinach, like say, in a spinach salad. That would take too long. Such behavior can be associated with the steroid-using athlete of today. He isn't interested in the natural approach to muscle gain...that would take way too long...instead he turns to "juice", an instant (injectable) fix.

We Don't Worry So Much About Boys & Body Image...

Society tends to focus more on how girls perceive themselves. We mainly mention girls as being the ones to suffer from eating disorders. We try to help girls raise their self-esteem through all sorts of ways...but what about the boys?

In his article Body Image: A Pep Talk, Mike Hardcastle points out:

As women started to build killer careers of their own, males started to feel the pressure to attract women with "rugged good looks", "buff bods" and "chiselled features". Today, boys feel the same pressures to be physically attractive as girls do, even if this pressure manifests in different forms. The desire to have a great body so great that many young men are turning to anabolic steroids and growth hormones in an attempt to build the "better" body. And guess what -boys suffer from eating disorders too!

Muscles in the Media

Besides images of muscular men in sports, boys are exposed to unrealistic physiques even when they're playing with their action figures or watching their favorite cartoons.

Take the very popular anime cartoon called Dragonball Z features characters who have tons of muscles. They even transform into super beings with even more muscles when they get angry. Their arms become larger, their hair changes color and their veins look as though they might pop through their skin.

Here's a picture of a bodybuilder who is obviously going for that animated superhero look:

Steroid users go through a similar "transformation" experience when they are in the throes of "'roid rage". Recently, a friend of mine told me about his friend who used steroids and became very aggressive and unapproachable during a friendly game of baseball, and then turned violent towards his girlfriend at the time.

Then there's the new version of G.I. Joe & Friends.

It seems that even the makers of "real American heroes" believe in the saying, "the bigger, the better."

Since playing with dolls is considered "girl's play", toy manufactuers have resorted to making "action figures" that boys will respond to...figures packed and stacked with major muscles. When watching boys role play with these, it is obvious that they believe that muscles make a man a man...a hero.

Competition & Steroid Use: A Deadly Combination

What I came away with at the end of the day was that athletes and other men who use steroids do it to compete. Athletes want to compete with others and make more money than the next guy. Other men do it to compete with the next guy to get the girl.

American society is based on competition. Capitalism logically demands that competition is necessary in order for there to be any kind of economic growth in this country.

This competitive "spirit" bleeds over into our everyday lives and plays out on our television screens, the sliver screens, and even on our playgrounds.
For many young boys, this need to fit in and compete can lead to a lowered self-image and desire to do whatever it takes to be accepted.

A little competition never hurt anyone, this is true, but as witnessed by Joshua (who injured his arm) and his friend (who suffered from 'roid rage) who also took steroids, along with the others who have had adverse results from the drug, competition can become dangerous, addictive, and even fatal.